I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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