Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
