Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
