All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
