my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
