you guys were way drunker than both of me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
