i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
