Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
