Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
