And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
