Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
