For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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