Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize