Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
