All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
