another moral hangover. fuck.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
