I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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