Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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