Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
