Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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