A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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