Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
