3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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