Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
