Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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