its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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