You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
