escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
