I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize