Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
