Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
