considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
