is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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