this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
