all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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