You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
