toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
