you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
