I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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