My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
