She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
