Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
