The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize