Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My first STD was from a foam party
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
