Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
