3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
