There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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