You work out of a Hotel?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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