Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
