Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
