All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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