the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
