we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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