so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
