Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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