we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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