The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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