apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
