Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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