IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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