How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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