so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
not ubering you a puppy
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
