you guys were way drunker than both of me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
