So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
