I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize