Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
