it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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