and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
