He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
