So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
