i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
