it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
