he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
